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Current Location: Home, room.
Current Music: DBSK - Mirotic.

I don't understand. I really don't. Why do the memories of the past keep haunting? Aren't they tired? I'm tired already, I'm really tired of it already. I had put it behind me, hadn't I? It doesn't really bother me anymore.

But whenever you ... Can't they just let me go? I don't know what's with me recently. I kept getting reminded of what happened in the past. Kept getting reminded of what you and you did.

And I think. Had I been someone who let things go too easily? I let it hurt me like nobody business. So that it won't hurt you. Now upon thinking back, I really think I'm so dumb. So damn dumb.

That matter ... It might not have bothered you. You could have just got on with your life. But me. I wished to go on too. I thought I had. Damn. Don't get it wrong, it's not any feelings still left inside. It's just the fear, the fear of liking someone new again.

Whenever I feel like liking someone, like really like that someone. I'll feel as if I got slapped from my memories. Loud slap, right here on my cheek. As if to wake me up, as if to warn me.

Two years already, it had been two years already my dear. I'm not saying here that I've taken a liking to anyone or I had any feelings left for that person.

But what I'm saying here is ... Is that. I don't know why this past can still hurt me after so long. Maybe not hurt, but serves as a warning. Yes, like a warning. For it doesn't hurt actually. It just hurts to think that I hadn't been fighting for myself. It just hurts to think that I had allowed myself to rip my heart further apart to keep their's together.

My heart hurts for the girl two years ago.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not holding any grudges or whatsoever for you and you. It's just ... I can never feel the same towards you guys again. You guys had moved on, you especially. And I ... I don't know what was that.

You moved on like that matter was nothing. Or was it really that case? It was really nothing for you. Oh well then if that's the case I think I was really blind back then. My eyes were blind, my ears tunned out everything that was against you and my heart? It had been beating for the wrong person, it had been ... It had been blind too.

Hahhh. This is one entry after so long that was really something. Sorry if it bothered anyone. But this is what I felt. And I'm not going to be that dumb girl who keeps everything inside her not wanting to hurt anybody. Or would she?

She wished to go up the ferris wheel @ 11.03.pm.