Lacking The Courage.

Current Location: In My Living Room.
Current Music: Next To You - Jordin Sparks.

thanks tze for introducing me this song, it's really nice. (:

the courage, can i ever possess it again? i don't know. i just feel weak upon finding myself having the need to face it. maybe getting over the person doesn't mean that you had got over the fear? i don't know. i find myself lacking the courage to step in.

i don't even have the courage to admit. i .. i find it hard. i don't dare to admit to my peeps, i don't dare to face it.. well i don't know.

recalled the past, read my previous entries. found that you're always not missing. had always been there. be it the funny way, the irritating way or grateful way.

but i had been taught not to trust it, or should i just change and believe it once again? i don't know, i'm just lacking the courage..

maybe were friends
maybe were more
maybe it's just my imagination

She wished to go up the ferris wheel @ 11.15.pm

Fun Sunday! :D

Current Location: Living Room.
Current Music: 永不消失的彩虹 - 卓文宣.

today's coaching kinda funn! haha. and i've managed to "tame" Jing En and Jing Ting. lol. but Daniel's being naughty! haha. but in a fun way though. (:

second hour, all of 'em turned up! haha, Kang Qi, Justine, Joey Edward.. haha. after lessons games was fun. Wei De put the float mattress on the stairs and it instantly became a slide! haha. the kids loved it totally! haha, except for lil Justine. she cried! ohmytian. maybe because the slide too steep ba. haha. but the others had fun! haha.

lol, lil Jovan was here too! haha, he played and all. haas, Zhi Wang even put him on his shoulders. haha! the scene's really sweet. (: and lil Jovan seems really happy! haha. can see that he cheered up alot! from the way he gave me the high-five. haha!

third hour, koala bears! and yes! all of 'em turned up too. haha, taught them surface dive today. Jun Kai, Jun Xiang and Chris did exceptionally well. haha. the others too. did better than what i've thought. haha, believe they will do even better in weeks to come with the practises. hees.

after lessons, i gave them lollipops! haha. al of 'em took except Avis. cos she said she had tooth decay. and she's got good discipline! kids loved sweets right? i tried psycho-ing her to get one, one only won't hurt. but she declined! haha. so it's a good thing also right? haha. (:

celebrated Wei De's birthday today! haha! got the koala bears to sing a birthday song for him. haha. Zhi Wang actually caught Wei De and wanted the kids to jump on him. dang! Mervyn, Jun Kai and Jun Xiang tried. Mervyn tried twice and the second time he landed right on Wei De's tummy! ohmy tiann la! we were scared that it would really injure him. alright, so i bent down to see if they were alright. and guess what.

Mr. Lim Zhi Wang tried to pull me down into the water!! ohmytiann! i was stunned mann. my first instinct was to hold onto Mervyn since he was the nearest to me. but i quickly withdrew back my hand cos he's only a kid. haha. so i quickly seated down. dang, he thn tried with both his hands la! even Wei De go give him a hand! woah, my hand really wanna break liao lur! haha!!

but i held on to the side fast and fling them off. i'm strong de okay~ hahah! next was the cake-smearing session. LOL.

Wei De tricked Zhi Wang over and smeared cake on his face. haha! it's so funny la! hees, and according to Zhi Wang's personality. you think he would let this rest? nono. he tried to smear it back to Wei De but failed! haha!

alright, thn when i wanted to go get the cake. Mr. Lim Zhi Wang again came and was up to his mischief! he smeared cake on my face!! ): ahh! but at tht point of time i couldn't do anything! first, he's too tall for me, -.- and second, he got away liao. thn i jst wiped it off and point my finger at him. lol, but guess what? Wei De caught him by his back and let me take revenge! haha! thn Jack caught him by the legs, big lollol la! they thn fell to the ground and he couldn't move much. haha! thn Wei De asked me quickly go smear his face and all! haha! i was laughing like hell all the way la! haha. and Justin came up with the most OHMYGOD thing!

HE POURED THE SOYA BEAN MILK ON ZHI WANG!

ohmytiann la! and when Justin's doing it, Rachel and I were like "OHMYGOD-ING" damn loud loud loud. haha! after that, Wei De and Jack released him and Zhi Wang was there, down on the floor, motionless. haha! poor guy!

thn after that Justin went off, in fear that Zhi Wang will take retribution. lol. but he didn't. haha, at least i didn't see he did. cos i went to bathe immediately liao. cos the weather's really really hot! haha.

after that went back home to follow daddy mommy and eils to go to my cousin's house to collect our old com's cpu and dvd recorder. haha. next went to sheng siong with them. haha, and the greatest pleasure of both eils and i were to get things that daddy always don't allow and yet getting them to pay first. haha, all of us enjoyed this process. hees, made me have a really blissful feeling. hees.

now watching Yang Jia Jiang! haha. adios people! :D

She wished to go up the ferris wheel @ 10.04.pm

Saturday Coaching. (:

Current Location: On My Bed.
Current Music: What I Go To School For - Jonas Brothers.

i'm dead beat! but why am i still blogging still? haha, cos i wanna jot down how i felt today during .. practically the whole day. haha. (:

morning. i woke up with a smile on my face. cos i dreamt of you. (: and that i woke up naturally. without the aid of my alarm clock. haha, and without a while, my alarm went off. so it meant that i'm early de. haha. (:

daddy and mommy too woke up with a cheery mood. haha, and that made me feel happy too. (: eils went for her POA lessons and as per usual, Sean would always not in his bed whenever we woke up. (sianns)

so daddy offered to bring us for breakfast. and that's where the whole unhappy event started. mommy delayed abit and daddy was kinda pissed off. next was the breakfast we ate, horrible and expensive. daddy's face turned even blacker.

thn on the way back, dad kept pinpointing mom's mistakes in driving which eventually made the bomb went kaaboommbb. hais. daddy got out of the car and slammed the car. seriously, i was taken aback by this action of daddy's. i've never seen daddy in such a foul temper before. and mommy's tears made my heart soften even more. so i got out of the car and assist mom to park her car. though i had no experience, i can still do it with some recollections of what daddy did previously and mommy can do it! haha. if daddy can use a softer tone, i believe everything would definitely work out fine. (:

next went for coaching early. cos i wanted to go there early to swim. swam twenty laps straight with my mind thinking of Yang Jia Jiang and their Silang, Siniang etc. haha! sometimes i really admire how my brain works. LOL.

next coaching began. yihan's getting better! haha, though there's still a big gap between him and his classmate, he's really better already. and not to forget that he's a 3 year old kid. so more time is needed. (:

second hour. things were actually fine. until i saw Mervyn. yes, Mervyn from the Koala Bears. he's here for makeup lessons and he's with Brenda. but he kept crying! i had never seen him cry so hard before! whenever he's with Jun Kai Jun Xiang they all, he's always laughing and playing. so my heart went out to him.

when my kids swam over to train their distance, i took the chance to talk to him. sighhs, and he kept telling me that he didn't want to swim, sobbing hardly. but i couldn't do anything to help! cos he's ain't under me and i still had my kids to go look after. so i tell him to relax and listen to Brenda. hope he's feeling better by tomorrow when i see him. haha, when i told him not to cry and that i'll see him tomorrow, he nodded his head and smile. (: so can i take that as a good sign? haha.

third hour. it's raining and there's lightning! ohmytiann. so all of us helped to keep a lookout. Min Ru scared me the second time when she shouted, "Ahh!! Got lightning!" ohmytiann la! i thought what happened when she shouted the "ahh!!" sheesh. but lessons began to unfold when it's 6.30pm. haha.

lessons ended and i met Loo for dinner. (: haha, thanks Loo for your accompany! haha. and you should have seen how she shopped at Cotton On's sale. in less than 30 minutes, she spent $90+! wow! i'm really amazed. but i'm still looking forward to see her shop in town. haha!

aiights, i should go hit my bed already. i'm seriously dead beat. i'm supposed to think of some games to enhance the lessons i'm going to have for the first hour tmr. but my mind ain't working. hais. better go sleep on it. haha. nights people!

Vonns. (:

She wished to go up the ferris wheel @ 12.00.am

Red Cliff, 赤壁.

Current Location: RP, E54F.
Current Music: 我愛你有什麼不對 - 劉力揚.

aiights i decided to blog for a short while, while waiting for longfei to go to sports complex. haha. hmm, should i eat the fries for later? haha, nvm. decide later then. haha.

went to watch Red Cliff with Daddy, Eils & Sean yesterday night! haha. had never expect daddy to want to bring us just yesterday. we had plans to watch, but i had no idea it was that soon. lol, the movie is fantastic!! haha! except for the fact that we still have to watch for the Part 2, War of the Red Cliff. ): i went to watch because i wanted to watch the Fire War between Wu and Wei!

tian ar. but it's okay la. cos inside Red Cliff had the Battle of Changban where Zhao Yun rescued the baby son of Liu Bei. haha, although the Zhao Yun in Dynasty Warrior is so much more suave, the Zhao Yun in Red Cliff didn't fail me la. he still got the attraction factor in him. haha.

and the Sun Quan! ohmytiann. i don't like the Sun Quan in Dynasty Warrior luh. cos he looked old. but the Sun Quan here in Red Cliff, he's damn charming la! haha! and the Zhang Fei! wow, both him and Guan Yu looked not much different from the Dynasty Warriors de. haha, but Zhang Fei's damn cute! he's got a really loudddd vocal! haha!

yesterday didn't even see ONE horse when past Kranji. and yet, during the movie i saw LOADS. haha, but they fell! ): some damn ke lian like tht. hais. but the effect of the whole thing was great.

some characters i like would be, Zhuge Liang, by Jin Cheng Wu. haha, he's a damn cute fella inside. Zhou Yu, by Tony Leong. wow, brings out the charm of the character mann. Sun Shang Xiang, my all time favourite, by Zhao Wei, cute la she inside. (: Zhao Yun, but i don't know the name of the person. ): and.. we'll see more to that. haha!

wanna catch it again! especially the Part 2!! haha!

She wished to go up the ferris wheel @ 4.08.pm

Tze's 19th Birthday! :D

Current Location: RP, E54F.
Current Music: 我愛你有什麼不對 - 劉力揚.

the celebrations for Tzee's birthday's over. haha, felt kinda .. lost. haha, maybe because we had too much funn ytd la. but, we went home really late! haha. more on that later. (:

saturday night, i think all of us were touching up on the pressies for Tzee. i'm no exception, i stayed up till 3am that night just to finish her thingy. wow, i'm dead beat mann. mommy was telling me to go to sleep early. cos i still have coaching the next morning. she's worried that i'm not able to wake up on time.

okay, so i woke up at 7am to go to work. lessons were fine and all, jst that i think the sun's being a little sporting ytd. it burnt all of us till we're practically roasted! (so i think you peeps can expect no good pictures of me! ]=)

after coaching ended, i took 154 to JP. bought Famous Amos and took the train down to Bedok ready to wait. but on my way there, Rens told me Lins will be late. and i was really pissed. cos i'm way early! sianns, so i went to the airport instead!! LOL.

i sorta had a lil quarrel with Rens. but glad that it's over already. (:

i went to Terminal 2 at first. strolled around, went to the Viewing Mall, took pictures and i go to Terminal 1, only a while and off i go to Terminal 3. haha, Terminal 3's really a very nice place! haha, loads of shopping places too. haha. maybe we can go one day huh! (:

after finally like a very long time, when my mp3 really ran flat (!!), they finally told me to go to Bedok liao. phew. haha, thanks to Chris! (:

we waited, and after don't know how long they reached. lol, Tzee did the dares and all. haha, it's amazing race la. so i'll just cut down on the details. cos it's really alot. and finally, we reached the place where we would have our dinner.

WaterCross. we're suppose to be dinning at Fisherman's Village. but it closed down already! haha! but we gained something la. cos WaterCross's a really really nice place. (: it has really great ambience and all. love it! and there's a live band! not those hard metal music, but those soothing sentimental music.

was almost hoaxed up to sing for them yesterday by Jas and Tze. one say becos it's her birthday, another said becos to boast back my confidence level. whoo. no la, i'm really not ready to sing infront of so many people ytd. sorry Tze, if i've disappointed you.. and the girls too, sorry if i've disappointed you all.

after that we made Tze go to the toilet with us. haha, when back? taadaa! the pressies were ready on the table! well, not really ready but ready ready. haa. the whole thing happened in quite a funny way though.

but~ what really shocked Tze was the ipod nano present for her birthday. haha, her face was really shocked! for once in the day mann! Jas's right in saying it's not to get an expression from Tze, but it's worth it la. haha. (:

we sat by the beach and had her listened to the message we recorded for her. haha. it's kinda sweet, i feel. sitting by the beach, listening to heartfelts messages, enjoying the abit salty kinda smell of the wind. (: everything jst seems too pretty.

except for the fact that the time thn was 2319hr (!!). we rushed down to Pasir Ris, hoping to catch the last train. but alas! the train service ended. we tried booking a maxi cab, so that we don't need to get separated and can still talk. but is like sianns de la. we can't afford to wait. plus i'm starting to have cramps for my best friend. ):

so ended up we splited up. Jas Tze and I got into one cab. Rens Loo Lins got into another. on the cab, Jas and I practically slept through out! haha. and by the time we reached home, it's like 1am plus? and imagine all of us had school and work tmr! seriously, i don't know why am i in school. cos i can still skip one more time.

but heck la. cos all of them went to school and work, think that serves as a motivation for me that i shouldn't be different. haha.

daddy actually called me at 2230hr. cos Yang Jia Jiang started le ma. haha! i was like being torn apart. but i stayed la. cos i've got the DVDs anyway le. but i still feel bad for leaving daddy alone to watch. cos every week without fail we both would stayed by the telly and watch Yang Jia Jiang. haha. sorry daddy! and when they called at 0030hr (when Yang Jia Jiang ended), i was kinda happy. hehe, cos it's been a long time since they called me to see where were i liao. haha. like it! (:

oh yea and the place. i really love that place. great ambience for couples, i would recommend. haha. be it your anniversaries or anything, that's a great choice, people! and there's still a beach somemore. WOW ryte! hahaha!

in conclusion, love yesterday to the bits! and Tze! Happy 19th birthday! hope you like it! haha! :D

She wished to go up the ferris wheel @ 1.32.pm

RP Lifesaving Team. (:

Current Location: RP, E54F.
Current Music: Year 3000 - Jonas Brothers.

P.S. Okay, yes Brenda, this song is nice. haha!

i saw alot of my E36P classmates today! first i saw Mei Ying when i'm walking to school with BGF, Long Fei, Marvin, Andy & Jeremy. next i saw Jenson, Nadia & Kenny when i was in the canteen of Kou Fu. and lastly i saw Jing Yu when i was in the booklink! haha! nice coincidence! :D

something seems to be brewing in LS. sianns diao. somebody thought she can gain sympathy simply by crying. hah, save it my girl. hadn't you noticed? you gain what you want through people's sympathy. that's totally something that would be beneath my dignity. so i won't do a thing like that. if i want, i would try to get it through my own efforts, the speed of my swim, the skill of my finning etc. through tears? siao.

the morale of the team's getting low low low. and i don't like it one bit. sianns! glad that i'm ain't in the team for the Nationals because of my back. if not, i'll definitely find it harder to face all these liao. sighhs.

oh yea btw, RP Lifesaving has got a blog! whee! haha, feel free to drop by, people! :D

RP LIFESAVING TEAM BLOGG. :D

She wished to go up the ferris wheel @ 1.02.pm

Faci On MC Again, Randomness. (:

Current Location: RP, E54F.
Current Music: 終於說出口 - 小宇.

i'm in school aiights! haha. since i promise i'll go to sch, i'll go de. hehe. and sweety Jas even text me this morning to see if i'm going to school. haha, love you!!

met Andy & Jeremy when i came out of the mrt today. haha, we board the same train! lol. and ended up going to school with tons of people! BGF, Marvin, Longfei, Andy, Jeremy, Yongkai, Weisi. haha!

and and and! the facilitator i don't like de didn't come again! haha. i was telling BGF, Longfei last week that i seriously don't feel like going for his lessons because i really don't like him. if not for my grades, i'll definitely won't go for his lessons de luh.

and after MIA for 4 weeks, i'm back last week what. AND? he's on MC. the relief faci said that he's sick. so i was like, wow. heng ar! haha. and today when i'm up for class, i felt so sianns again. serious don't like him know.

but bo bian. and when i got back to class, i saw a female faci! haha! she said that he's still on MC. what suspected of dengue, i also not sure.

but hope he'll be fine by next week. cos i don't wanna feel like someone who sinned. =X though he sick is none of my business, i'll somehow feel weird. haha.

i feel like sleeping! feel like going la! but i've got UT for Health & Wellness later. so can't. sianns ar. and later accompanying mommy to go swim. haha. (:

have to make a trip down to Jurong West library to borrow this Yang Jia Jiang book. which only Jurong West has. hmph, ask Zhi Wang to help me borrow, tell me that he don't go library find books de. idiot! bleahh.

shall go see where's the library. thn go find myself. bleahhhhhh.

She wished to go up the ferris wheel @ 12.02.pm

For You.

Current Location: Home.
Current Music: 傳說 - 劉力揚 林侑嘉.

yes, this point of time, this point of the day, i'm at home. why? cos i overslept. and why did i overslept? cos my mind is subconconsiously telling me not to go to school. and why did my mind do that? cos i'm not motivated to go to school at all.

why. why am i still not motivated? i told myself, use my grades to motivate me! cos i'm barely hitting a GPA of 2. and so i must. but. i saw the modules selections for my next sem. those are the courses i know i would like definitely and would go for lessons. and so, i can pull up my grades using during next sem.

and why i've got no motivations? cos i'm somehow sianns by the people there. when facing you, they can say things like, wow. they were so concern about you and all. and when you really have got the problem? when you're really sick? any concerns from them? NO. what fakeness la.

wearing a mask, yea. that's the phrase. disappointed with us? why not ask us why we didnt go? i thought you peeps were always saying how concern you were? ever tried asking what's the reason? no. suan le.

i thought you cared, i thought you always cared. but how wrong i was. and now that i know, i shall treat you back with the same treatments. don't blame me. i'm already having doubts in your character, what fakeness. why deny? why lie? why can't you just face me in the face instead of wearing a mask?

word of advise for you,

face people using your sincerity, not your mask. if you carry on like this, you'll find lesser people placing their trust in you. adios.

She wished to go up the ferris wheel @ 11.08.am

Saturday Coaching. (:

Current Location: Home.
Current Music: 一句一傷 - 劉力揚.

mixed feelings for coaching today. 've got the happy ones, and as well as the sad ones. and as per usual, i'm tired already. haha, but i make it a point to come and blog. because i wanna note down the feelings i'm having now. if i delayed it to either tmr or monday during school, i'm afraid the feelings would fade away.

sad moments.
it all happened in one lesson. the second hour. first is because Jordan cried. second is because Zi Xin had to leave. Jordan cried because he' afraid of Justin who took over for me last week. his mom said that Justin was fierce towards them and Jordan was afraid. so afraid that he's not willing to come into the water to learn anything! sighhs. but after some time with his sister, he's feeling better. so it's alright.

Zi Xin. sighhs. i taught her all the way from her not knowing how to swim to now, able to swim breast-stroke. and she had to leave! when Wei De told that it's her last lesson and that she's going over to Hydro next week. i think i looked sad. cos Wei De told me next that it's not because i not good. but because she's going to have tution with her sister. and her only available time was Saturday morning, to which is a timing we don't have. sadded la.

i thn ask Zi Xin, why does she wanna leave. is it because she don't like me. (LOL) but she shook her head firmly. she said she got no choice also, and that she liked me too. just that she got tution. so bo bian. thn i also like tht lur. sighhs. BYE, ZI XIN!! ):

this mood kind of affect me for the next lessons. making me have doubts about myself, whether i'm a good coach anot. cos i've been executing lessons with what Wei De and Zhi Wang taught me. only a few is what i thought of. so i'm really beginning to have doubts. and the third lesson, there's only Kimberly, Min Ru and Dyan!

i was shocked! i had 7 kids supposingly, and now only 3! it really acted as another burden to me. but thankfully! (: Li Xin, Wei Han and Wan Ting turned up! not don't wanna come, just that they were late. hahah! except for Bryan, who's always MIA. hees!

happy moments.
aiights, maybe you peeps might not find it worth mentioning. but to me, it's really an issue which i find really happy! hees. Yi Han that class, i can proceed to teach them froggie kicks next week! yay! after so many weeks of flutter kicks! like so finally la! wahahahah! and the last hour, i taught them the froggie kicks too! haha, cos their progression is about the same. :D

though they are still not that well, i believe they will improve de! just like my second hour class! wahahhaa!

aiights, i'm going to come up with the lesson plan for tmr lessons liao. and after that would be my sleeping time~!! Zzz. haha! byeeee. :D

She wished to go up the ferris wheel @ 9.42.pm

Sichuan Earthquake

Current Location: Home.
Current Music: 眼淚笑了 - 劉力揚.

i know i hadn't been updating for a longg longg time! haha, so here am i! decide to surface for a while before i go for my coaching. haha.

yesterday i received an email from Nadia of E36P, my previous class. i'm thankful and grateful to her for sending me this email. know why? cos it's a comicstrip.

ahh, if you think that it's an ordinary comicstrip, you're wrong. cos this comicstrip illustrated the different scenes of the Sichuan Earthquarke.

when i read the comicstrips, i could feel tears brimming. it illustrated how the love of this world help to perserve their next generations. at that point of time, i felt really worthless.

what had i done to save them? i can't go there personally cos i'm still young. and i think daddy mommy will think that i'm crazy. i can't donate money to them because i had barely enough to save up. and what had i done?

only that banner. the banner that was at our school, writing notes to spur them on to live.

people who were buried under the ruins, tried so darn hard to stay alive. because of their family, their loved ones. and here in Singapore where everyone is so safe, people wanted to commit suicide.

cherish what we have, people. back there in China, in Sichuan, there are parents who lost their akins, their children, and there are children who lost their parents and became orphans.

cherish your family, your friends. for we won't know what will happen to us the next minute. i shall upload the pictures of the comicstrips. hope you people will be able to feel what i felt.

(The Song of Miracle)
(The Coke Boy)
(The Last Lesson)
(The Boy Who Lived)
(Just One More)
(Take My Wings)
(I Must Be Strong)
(My Father Is A Hero)

She wished to go up the ferris wheel @ 12.34.pm